why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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Your mama so stupid, she put 2 quarters in her ears and said she was istening to Fiftycent

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops