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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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hashtags suck balls

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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What's big and long? My dick.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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John lazzaro likes dick

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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