What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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