OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The Labour Party.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't he finish his

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: You were adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

69

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops