Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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