what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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yo momma's so dumb she attended a dyslexic test and was proven mildly autistic.

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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Why bouriquet laugh ? cause hes mom get hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops