so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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A Mormon walks into a bar

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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How do you get your children out of a cardboard box? You open the box to see your dead children's corpses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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