A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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relatable: school : 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: oscer has 4 apple his train was 7 min early now caulate the mass of the sun

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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