How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

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whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Have you read Shakespeare? Dunno. Who wrote it? Shakespeare.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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knock knock whos there your mother open the door

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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andrew wagner

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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why did tyler detweiler walk across the street? he didnt he has ceribral palsey

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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2

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Nock nock Who's there K K who? You forgot the K

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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