No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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you give like i give lomain

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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Three blind mice. See how they run. Into things.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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a black guy walks into a park with a group of five other black guys. they then proceed to have a nice picnik and play frisbee with a little white boy.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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