Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Knock Knock there's a doorbell

How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

Pianos.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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