An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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360 NO SCOPE

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What is your name, sir? My name is not Sir, my name is Jeff.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops