Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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A man walks into a bar

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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