What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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