How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

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Are you a tree

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops