Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The chicken saw greater opportunities to find food on the other side

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops