A gay man watches football.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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Sloths

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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A man said to his friend that he looks like his mom died. the other man started to cry due to the fact that it was acctually his dad

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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