What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

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Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The chicken saw greater opportunities to find food on the other side

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops