Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

God wrote this joke.................................

What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

How High is a Chinese man

Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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