what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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How do you end a sentence

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops