What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

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Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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