What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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How do you end a sentence

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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