Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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