Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

osama bin laden is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops