A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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dead dibbs

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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LeBron James proposes. So what does he put on the girls finger? Ben L.

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roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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Who's dumb and retarted. A person that is dumb and retarted.

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE 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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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