What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there?

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Why did kenny the koala fall out of the tree? becuase kenny was dead. Why did kesha the koala fall out of the tree? because she was hit by kenny while he was falling.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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