Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

thumb_up thumb_down +25

the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops