what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer was depressed about the low business and farmer's economy, so he poured gasoline all over himself and lit a match. The barn burned down and the chicken was the only survivor.

What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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