What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

what do you call people who keep reffering to the holocost , and cancer sufferers on this site? sad and sick individuals

What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

what happened to your carpool? they died.

I'm 23, just like most people my age.

So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

What's red and funny? The holocaust

Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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