Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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everyone dislike this

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Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

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Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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What did the man with sores on his tounge get for a birthday present? He recieved a very nice pair of trousers which he wore to work from time to time

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What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supe- oh wait it is a plane

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

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what did the african boy get for christmas? what does his ethnicity or his place of origin have anything to do with what he gets for christmas

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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