A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Q; How did the blind man cross the road? A; very unsuccessfully leaving behind memories of his joys but soon forgotten smile

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Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

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What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

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What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot. A: A pilot you racist.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? Now he is dead..

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What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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what are you your not a human? are you an other?

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

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What is Obamas favorite book? I don't know, ask him.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim? Our faiths are actually derived from the same Judeo base.

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What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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