A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

hey bruno ta quoi ds ta boite a lunch aujourdhui? DU SABLE CRISS DE POVRE!

What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

Know what's funny? Jokes.

What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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