Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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Immigration Laws

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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How to confuse a dumbass: see next post.

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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Three blind mice. See how they run. Into things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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