"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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