Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Q. What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A. An horse.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

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Tim likes girls

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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