A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How does a black man have sex? He inserts his penis into his partners vagina, then slides it out, then inserts it back in, and repeats this motion untill he has reached his climax and ejaculates!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops