Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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why couldn't the man open the window? he had no hands due to his time serving the USA in vietnam

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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You know what's cool? Yep.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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epic win?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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