- Anti Joke

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

Japanese study of the stereotypical American man: Murica: Come on come on! Japanese: Uh yes? walks toward American Murica: Are you okay?! Japanese: Well yes I am doi.. Murica: BUSTER WOLF Punches Japanese which smacks into the ground critically wounded. Murican: OKAAAAAAAAAAAY! throws dirty trucker cap at Japanese man and leaves.* BEWARE OF THE TYPICAL AMERICAN! Study 2 American man, taught Japanese Discipline: Japanese: Herrow Mr.Educated American bows "Japanesed Murican": Fighting Pose " I SHALL STAIN MY HANDS, WITH YOUR BLOOD!" Japanese people run away Experiment fail. BEWARE EXTREMELY OF AMERICAN MAN! Nero: Nuking Japan probably created a few controversies and wrong stereotypes... After visiting the US several times, I find these manners to be of the Texan stereotype though... Educated Murican: PREDICTABO!

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

Nah Nero, nothing wrong here, I mean I am down to earth, you made me realize that, and sincerely you are my best friend, I mean I hang out with geeks all day, and yeah I might be a bit nerdy or even geeky myself, but not like this, I want to be more like you, spend time with you, not playing dungeon and dragons telling myself I am some warrior princess... I thought playing that crap was gonna get funnier but thats not true the least. What I am trying to say is that I look up to you, what you achieved, and still do, while if you look at me, I am literally several grades below you, so yeah, you are looking down at me. And yeah, I might be falling in love with you to be honest, but I know you have a wife and I am the jealous insecure kind, so I would not want to share you with anyone in fear of losing you if you where my husband, but I dont love you for what I want you to be, I love you for who you are. And yeah I know it must be awkward hearing me type my heart out here, but if you want to know me for who I truly am, as sincere as you are, you deserve it. And no, you are not blunt, you are what people would call "honest to a fault", and I adore that side of you, I mean if I want to hear what people think they want me to hear, I ask anyone else, but you, you are different, you are honest to death, and that makes me feel safe and trust you when you say things, I mean you are a free spirit, if you thought I was ugly you would have told me, and that would have been okay, if it where you actually. So I am sorry if I sound weird or desperate or something, its just whats inside of me right now.

-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

Why did the black man get arrested? Because he was in possession of powder cocaine, which is a schedule I narcotic in the United States. This incident probably would not have happened if an end was put to the war on drugs, which is notorious for disproportionately targeting blacks and other minority groups, even though whites are statistically more likely to use such substances.

How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a bar? Hahaha you walked into a bar. What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a pub? AHH-JOOOOO!!!

What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

im telling maguire

CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

A mailman walks into a bar He delivers a bill for the electricity and leaves.

I like to thumb up my own jokes.

What do you call a man who interru- SHUT UP!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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