How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Lewis

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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