An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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PSP its a nut you can play... Outside...

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Why did the mexican wash his car? The car was dirty

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops