What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A car walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? A STAB WOUND!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's a foot long and slippery A dick

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops