Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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why did the black man sit in the back of the bus? becouse all the seat where taken in the front

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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The seven dwarves sat around the house feeling Grumpy, so Grumpy left.

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Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

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What is blue and rolls ? A blue, rolling thing.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Why did the priest blow a kiss and waved to the little girl? She was his daughter. Why did the daughter's mother call the cops on the priest? Child support

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

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Whats better than sitting here writing anti jokes? Sitting in ENGLISH and writing anti jokes. Shoutout to Link Deas

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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