how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

so how about that irline food

The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

Q: Why did the Mexican mother leave her baby in the hot car during summer? A: Because she was irresponsible and forgetful.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

Steve jumps through a window...he forgot he was on the 231st floor...He dies

Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

Whats 1+1? The answer!

A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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