Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

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DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

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Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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