What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

What's Pink And Wet? A chewed up piece of Bubble gum.

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

What is the diffrents between a Mexican and a elevator? one can raise children the other is a mexican!!!!!

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock? Who's There? Not Suzy. What did Suzy want for Christmas? Parents who loved her. What did Suzy get for Christmas? Cancer.

knock knock who`s there me oh come in

Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

Q: How many black people came KFC on June 31st? A: None because June 31st doesn't exist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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