If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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Black People

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops