Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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were you expecting a joke

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I drive a 'rarri

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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Llamaworm

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Q-what did the bus say to the other bus? A-nothing, buses are incapable of talking

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Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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Why is three afraid of four? Because four ate five.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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