- Anti Joke

What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

What african eat for christmas Sand.

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

jordan godfrey is good looking lolololol

Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was, AIIEEEEIUUUUHGH!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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