Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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I've never seen a zebra use that crossing.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

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I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

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You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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