i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse then precedes to beat the bartender voraciously for making fun of his religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

an american walks out of a strip club.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops