Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

Lewis

- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Blond answers: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat............?

Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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MOAR??

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