Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? Justin is attracted to the female gender

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

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Penis

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what do you call a professional gamer Their name

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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What's big and purple? Barney

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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