Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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A black man and a white man and a chinese man are sitting together: Cultural Diversity.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

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Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Knock knock, "Whos there" a business man who wants to sell you things that you don't need "Oh, go away"

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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What do you call a cow that is lying on a barn floor? A cow

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

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Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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KOOKABURRA

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

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* two sisters are making yo mama jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

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What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

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Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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What happened to the orphan when it walked to the park? He found his birth parents........but then they were killed by a crazy hobo and he was taken away and molested

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Why did the girl kill herself? Because she was brutally raped

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What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops