Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

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Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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Five guys in white sheets chase a black man down the street. It is Halloween and all six people are close friends and enjoy goofing around.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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What does it take to play in the WNBA? Nothing....

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Why was the little boy speechless? His best friend was just run over by a plow truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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