Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Oh s***

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops