Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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How come the bartender didnt let the black guys in the bar Because the bar was closed.noone was aloud in the bar

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Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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Ain't idn't a word.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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