What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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if got a joke if fogot it

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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what did the boy with no arms get for easter? a cane.

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what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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What's worse than knowing you have Hepititis C? Not knowing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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